God is Good, Regardless

‬‬“Be confident, my heart, because the Lord has been good to me."

Psalm 116: 7 (GNT)

I don’t know what season of life you’re in. You might be single, dating, engaged or married! This devotional is specifically for my single women, but I pray that this will also encourage you if you’re not single. Either way I want to bring you a sweet reminder about the Lord’s goodness no matter what season you find yourself in.

Today is Valentine’s Day, and usually I don’t look forward to this day. It reminds me of how single I am and it feels like there’s an imaginary person poking at my unmet desire to be married. I know in dating, marriage is the goal (of course) but in order to do that I first have to get a man to marry (hello somebody).

The funny thing is, I’m currently in a year of singleness. This means I am intentionally choosing to not date any men or actively seek out a relationship for 12 months. August of 2023, the Lord invited me into a year of singleness before I made my move to Dallas, Texas. It was not something I wanted to do because I felt like I was ready to date. I was moving to a new state and was confident that I would meet someone. I’ve been single for while and desired to start dating in a God- honoring way.

The Lord surely surprised me. Has the Lord ever asked you to do something that you didn’t want to do? Maybe it felt like it didn’t make sense or it felt too hard? In our lives, we will always have to battle with the choice of “Am I going to obey God even though I don’t understand why He’s asking me to do this or Am I going to do my own thing?”

Choosing to obey this invitation was hard at first because that’s not what I imagined the next year of my life being. You might wonder why I call it an “invitation”. That’s such a gentle word to use.

What I’m learning is that when the Lord is asking me to do something it isn’t to benefit Him and He isn’t forcing me to do it. I look at the Lord’s requests as invitations to draw closer to Him and to go deeper in Him. At first, this request felt like the Lord was trying to withhold a relationship from me.

Singleness has been a journey for me but I can confidently say that I have gained so much in this season. I have seen the goodness of God so clearly in this season. I have drawn closer to the Lord more than ever.  I can say that I am spiritually thriving right now. Don’t get me wrong, outside of being single, this season has been really difficult.

So today, you might have felt extra lonely and extra single. You might have just experienced a hard breakup, struggling to believe you’re worthy of love or you’re discontent with your circumstances. I don’t have a perfect answer for you. I don’t know what you’re going through right now but I do what it’s like to feel unseen, unloved, rejected, and wait for something you really want.

Our vocal verse, Psalm 116:7, encourages us to do two things: to remember and to gaze.

Remember: The second part of the scripture says, " because the Lord has been good to me". David, the author of the book of Psalms, is acknowledging that the Lord has done good things in the past therefore his heart can be confident. Some other translations says, " return to rest". We can be so forgetful sometimes. The Lord is teaching me how to remember. Remember who He is. Remember what He says about me. Remember what He has done in the past.

When we can remember who the Lord is and what He has done for us that gives us hope for our present. He is still good even if you're single. It might don't feel like it but God remains the same in every season. I pray as you remember how God has been kind to you in your life or just remembering the Gospel, that your heart will rest.

God remains good even when our circumstances don't feel good.

Gaze: The first part of the scripture says, "Be confident, my heart because". Why did David encourage his heart to be confident? Was it because of his relationship status or because he went on a date? No, it's because of the Lord. As believers, we must know where our help comes from. As you are single, what are you focused on? Who and what are you looking at more. The Lord is our sustainer, our refuge and our shepherd. He is the One who satisfies our soul. When you're single it is important to fix your focus on the Lord.

It's easy to get distracted and discouraged because our desires haven't been met. It can feel like God is being unfair or picking favorites because of what you see. Don't be fooled, some relationships don't have God as the foundation. It's easy to compare when you don't know the full story. Don't compare your journey to someone else.

I believe that if we keep our eyes focused on our good shepherd and good Father, He will make sure we are well taken care of (Matthew 6:33). Take it one day at time. He knows what you need. He knows your deepest desires. So you don't need to be afraid that He won't fulfill His promises (Hebrews 10:23). If the Lord desires for you to be married, it will happen. If you don't know if this is something the Lord desires for you, ask Him.

A few days ago I was reading psalms 34: 17-20 and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It says, ”The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.“

During this season, the Lord is showing me that He listens to the crys of His children. Not only does He listen but He delivers them from all their troubles, He is near when their heart is discouraged or broken, He saves them and protects them. Wow! This passage of scripture is so comforting to me.

If your season of singleness has been hard, cry out to the Lord. I do it all the time. I'm not promising you will get a boyfriend and get married right away. But I am promising that the Lord will answer you when you seek Him. He cares about what grieves you. He cares about your heart and desires. He will draw near to you if you draw near to Him.

You are deeply loved by The Creator of the cosmos. He knew you before the foundations of the earth. This good God loved you so much and desires to be close to you that He made a solution for you even though it was your fault (Romans 5:8). Because we are sinners we don’t deserve the goodness of God but He lavishes it on us generously everyday. It is by grace we are saved and brought near. If you want to talk about love, talk about that!!

Don't allow your relationship status to dictate the goodness of God.

God is always good (Psalm 23:6, Psalm 145:9). Even in the hard moments of being single. I get it. I have wrestled with the Lord about His goodness. As single women we must get to a point in our walks with the Lord that if we are single for the rest of our lives , He is still good. We would be content in Jesus. Because it's really true.

No relationship will satisfy us. God didn't create them to. He created us for Him and to be needy of Him. Let your Heavenly Father satisfy you. It's wise to learn now, while you're single, how to run to the Lord. You will always be in relationship with Him even when you're married. That never changes. If you don't establish a strong relationship with the Lord while you're single being in a relationship is going to be hard. The Lord comes first in every season (Matthew 22:37) and we can do nothing apart from Him (John 15: 5).

Our desire for Jesus must be stronger than our desire to be married.

I believe that many of us will be married one day, and it will be beautiful. But that's not guaranteed. I believe that once we get to a place in our hearts that we are fully satisfied and complete in Jesus we will experience so much joy and peace in our lives no matter what our relationship status is.

I’m praying the love of God overwhelms you and fills you completely! I’m praying no matter what your relationship status is, you experience the love and goodness of God in a new and deep way. I pray that the Holy Spirit will give you joy to enjoy being single. Being single is not a curse or bad. Singleness is truly a gift from God.

So you might not be in an intentional season of no dating and that's okay. It doesn't make you more spiritual or anything. I think it's a great idea to consider taking some time to intentionally not date for the purpose of deeper growth and healing. This is the time to establish a solid foundation on Jesus, get your life in order and to pursue wholeness because I believe it will benefit your future marriage & kids (if you desire) a great deal. I pray one day you can look back on your season of singleness with gratitude instead of contempt, and be able to thank the Lord for what He did in you and through you.

There's good to experience in your waiting.

As you choose to remember and to gaze, may your heart grow confident because the Lord has been good to you! Because He has been good to you! The Lord wants to show you more of Him in your time of singleness so lean in sister, it's going to be better than you expected.